Peace of Mind is Beautiful
You can train your mind to be happy. It takes work. Not money
It is a learning process. I am still learning but I put this out here to be an example and for you to know you aren't alone.
Caught this image last night. I think its kind of creepy. Creepy to me is beautiful. Mystery is beautiful. I love to leave mystery in things. That way maybe one day you will discover you liked something or was drawn to something all those years because of that one thing you didn't see or that one word you didn't hear in music. I still don't know alllllllll of the tool lyrics, lol but I do know a lot. I like to leave the lyrics alone that I don't hear right or know so that one day I might here it clear. When I do that's when I am supposed to I guess. I like to let the universe guide me. I am trying now more than ever to give myself to it. The spirit of everything. You may call it God, but the spirit does not care about what you do. Its not mad at you. It can't be. Zero point energy or God energy or Christ consciousness. Its pure love. Why would it hate you. It has no reason to hate you. It has no reason to love you, but it does because that is what it is. Animals have instinct. They are pure love, pure consciousness . The instinct to bite or kill is all to protect that body, that kitty or dog or bird from hurting itself and to keep going by survival. The consciousness gave us this animal instinct to survive. I've been surviving so long I'm not even sure I know how to be a human anymore. Humans have free will not to chose to do whatever the fuck we want. I mean we can, but we also have feelings that prevent us from causing pain or causing distruction. We have the option not to be bad. We have the option to love. We have free will to filter out the bad vibrations, the demons, the things that terrify you. Where is it all coming from? You. All of that torture from past horrible memories. All those sad sad soul crushing memories. (my daughter died) . That, the memory of watching my ten year old die while holding her. Tortured me forever. Every time I closed my eyes. It was me. My daughter does not want me here to suffer because of her. She wants me to live because of her. Because I can push that memory aside now and deal with it own my own in my room. I know it's going to hurt, but if It starts just popping up all of the time out of nowhere I know I have to deal with it. I do, but when I am ready. Then I have peace from it for a while and i am able to move on. My baby is all around me. SO is everyone I have ever lost. My ancestors are with me always. I don't have much of a family history, but I feel my anscestors cheering me on everytime I accomplish something. I haven't accomplished much, But I feel like I am going to. I will never stop dreaming, but it is so strong now. I am about to fucking live! I've walked through hell. I have died. Twice medically. Growing up in Alabama, I should be dead all the time lol. I am not scared of death. So what other option do I have. I will live. Despite anyones opinions of me. I quite don't give a fuck. I will live. I am free. I am free. You can be free. Fuck of mother fucking antidepressant. I love you all. All fear is, is instinct to keep your human body working for the spirit. The primal spirit. The spirit that is wild and will eat you the fuck up. Or will love you and take you in and free you from all of the other humans out here trying to make you be like them because they think they are better because they want to be like everyone else. lol I dare a mother fucker to ever try to get me to conform. I will never strive to be like anyone else. I never did. I had no idea, but this has been me my whole life. I remember my cousins wearing high hills and trying to dress me up. They looked cool. On them hell. I couldn't walk and I remember saying, but why do they have to hurt so much to look good.I was probably around ten. I said I wasn't wearing them. I didn't I wore my old dirty white tennis shoes. The ones that had that dang blue label on the back. Only mine was from the dollar store like eight years ago. lol Anyway I don't wear no fucking high hills. Ever. lol I hate high hills. Ok I can tell its time to stop writing. I've went off track. ttyl
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AuthorMy name is Tera. After not living my whole life, I decided I wanted to live and have fun and to make other people happy. That is my goal. To spread love. LIGHT LOVE HOPE Its never too late to love. Archives
December 2020
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