Peace of Mind is Beautiful
You can train your mind to be happy. It takes work. Not money
It is a learning process. I am still learning but I put this out here to be an example and for you to know you aren't alone.
My childhood was rough. My dad and mom constantly fought. My dad was an alcoholic and my mom is the devil. I love that which bore me. I ain't lying though, She's evil incarnate. Mean as hell. Now as an adult though I can look at her life and be like no wonder she's mean as a damn snake. That woman was abused as a kid. Got in an accident when she was around 30, I think. Close to when I was born, anyway She was in a big hippie van. In the back of the van was a bed. She had a seizure and went into a big ditch. The bed came from the back and almost knocked her head clean off. I remember the big metal halo she had on her head. It was drilled into her skull. The front and back, my mom has holes drilled into her skull. You can see the scars. Anyway, no wonder she's mean. She almost got de fucking capitated yall. AND LIVED. MORE OF THIS THING CALLED LIFE. Its like, It was supposed to be over. It was supposed to be. Its like a visable timeline change right there. Like when I had my stroke, I should be dead, but Im not in this timeline. Im the soul survivor here. Yes I smoked. But all of this, everyfucking bit of this and everything I ever tell on here will be the truth. Probably not a truth that everyone can or wants to believe. Thats ok. Its my truth. Its things I have seen with my own two physical eyes. I have went way off track, but this is how i write. It just starts flowing and things come out in kind of magic ways. My world is magic. LIke i said. My childhood was rough. Mom and dad drunks, always starving. Me and my brother ( i love my brother more than any other soul on this earth and I miss him) was always scared. He was only three years older than me but he protected and took care of me the best he could. When I was around five, my mom left me and my brother with my alcoholic dad. Its ok. He did love us and did the best he could. I love my hippie daddy. I am so thankful now that she did leave me and my brother, because I got to live with my grandma and my grandad (who was also an aries. That man scared the hell outta or into me, I don't know which). But, my grandma was as close to pure light as I think anyone could be. By the way, she wrote in the local news paper, which is where I get my love for writing. She was a christian. You can probably tell, I am not. I am definetly my Grandma's daughter though. Yes daughter. She went through her own hell. If she had doubts, I never saw them. If she was in pain I rarely knew. She called me her walking stick because I helped her walk with her free hand. The other hand held another walking stick lol. She is the reason I had such a huge imagionation. I would tell her, Grandma, I am bored and she would say well, baby go outside and use your imagionation. (still cant fucking spell) Anyway, I had like three imagionary friends that I can recall their faces. Then like an audience of beings or spirits or conciousness always watching me. ( this sounds a lot like UM IDK skitzophrenia or something) . It does, but back in ancient times, when people had huge imagionations and had experience in life's shit and could dream still and play still and fucking LOVE STILL, after everything. They was not concidered crazy. They was not
0 Comments
So, I just came down from an intense high. I love being able to write, think and create. I like to do that when things just flow naturally. Organic. Anyway marijuana helps me do that. Marijuana has helped me be able to remember memories that I normally push to the back of my mind. Those memories that you know hurt, but you avoid because they hurt to bed. Marijuana will bring up all kinds of fears and anxiety and make you face them. The more you face (your demons, is what I call them) the more you get used to them. The more you feel those memories that you hide from, the more used to them you become. I am by no fucking means a phsyciatrist, but I know this has worked for me. I've written about some of the things i've been through, but just to be able to function after the death of a kid is, well where I was a year ago and where I am now, its miraculous the peace I have now. Its amazing how I can remember the good memories because I am not hiding from the ones that hurt me so bad. Good memories open up. Medical Marijuana has given me an ability to not only think outside the box, but have no problem thinking outside the box. My mental health is healing, I feel my body healing. Stress kills you. I should have died from the stroke. I am going to destress so much that I start de-aging. Wouldn't that be great. Would be cool. Anyway, I started something on facebook about how I hate Arbys, now a lot of people hate me. lol Maybe not. Till laters.
|
AuthorMy name is Tera. After not living my whole life, I decided I wanted to live and have fun and to make other people happy. That is my goal. To spread love. LIGHT LOVE HOPE Its never too late to love. Archives
December 2020
Categories |